- Do you find yourself replaying situations and kicking yourself for what you said/didn’t say?
- Are you your own worst enemy?
- Do you feel like a failure or phony in some area of your life, despite evidence to the contrary?
- Do you feel “not good enough?”
- Do you are perfectionist and often dissatisfied because your standards are not met?
This is the realm of the “inner critic.”
Unfortunately, we tend to take at face value what our inner critic tells us about ourselves and our life circumstances. And we often accept its fault finding regarding what we feel, think, say, do, look like, etc.
But the truth of the matter is that you don’t have to keep suffering at the hand of your inner critic.
We all have times when we “beat ourselves up.” But, for many of us, the inner critic operates like a background movie, always playing and demanding our attention. It may channel the discontented child (“My parents love my brother more than me”), the bully (“Hey stupid!”), a mean peer (e.g., Have you really looked at yourself? You are so unattractive.”), and/or a harsh parent/teacher/authority figure (“Can’t you do anything right?”). We believe the inner critic, rather than seeing self-criticism as a universal experience, something all of us contend with at times.
If you would like help figuring out a more productive way to tame your self-doubt and self-blame and alter how you see the inner critic and your relationship to yourself, call me, Patrick Connelly, at 609-780-3570 or email me at pat@relationship-institute-nj.com. for a counseling appointment. I can help you to develop a clearer understanding of your inner critic and work with you create a better relationship with it and manage its effects on your life.
